Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Finally A Good Gun Story!

Finally, a good gun story.

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a .45 Colt with an eight shot clip and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

A voice from the back of the room called out, "You don't have enough ammo!"

Friday, July 10, 2015

IRS Tax Form Denied

In response to the question, ... "Do you have anyone dependent on you?"

The man wrote:...

"11 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack heads, 4.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 450 idiots in Congress and a group that call themselves Politicians."

The IRS stated that the response he gave was "Unacceptable."

The man's response back to IRS was, ... "Who did I leave out?"

Friday, July 03, 2015

Later Gator

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees thinking his family would enjoy it.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'

Some old men can still think fast.