Friday, November 28, 2008

Love Life As A Pilot

Her Diary:

Tonight I thought my pilot boyfriend was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my
friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet
so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him
what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that
he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and
kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he
didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost
him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there
and watched T. V. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came up,
and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, it was
okay but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were
somewhere else.

He fell asleep while I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost
sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


His Diary:

Made the worst landing of my life today, but at least I got laid.

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Remembering (And) God's Words

Cohen showed up at synagogue one Saturday, and the rabbi almost fell down when he saw him. Cohen had never been seen in a synagogue in a long time.
After Services, the rabbi caught Cohen and said: "Mr. Cohen, I am so glad you decided to come here. What made you come?"
Cohen said: "I got to be honest with you, Rabbi, a while back, I misplaced my favorite hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that Levy had one just like mine, and I knew that Levy came to Services every Saturday. I knew Levy takes his hat off during Services and leaves it in the back of the synagogue. So, I was going to leave after the Torah reading, and steal Levy's hat."
The rabbi said: "Well, Mr. Cohen, I noticed that you didn't steal Levy's hat. What changed your mind?"
Cohen said: "Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal Levy's hat."
The rabbi gave Cohen a big smile and said: "After I talked about Thou Shalt Not Steal, you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"
Cohen shook his head and said: "Not exactly, Rabbi. After you talked about Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, I remembered where I left it."