At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a plastic surgeon's door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
On a taxidermist's window: "We know our stuff."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a propane filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills."
In a veterinarian's office: "Be back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet & miss a car payment."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."