No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel
to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not
necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange
noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they
happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.
6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.
7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.
8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say:
Enter Password Now.
9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock
when they come for a visit.
10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
13. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you
will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with
and hear the music in your head.
14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
And last but not least:
15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to