Thursday, October 16, 2008

Vaseline & The Power Of Silence

(This joke is rated-R. Please do not read or listen if you are under
18 or don't like naughty jokes).

Mick wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one
day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike
seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.

It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it,
and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike
is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain.' And he hands Mick a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Michelle, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they
enter the house, Michelle stops him and says, 'I have to tell you
something about my family before we go in.' When we eat dinner, we
don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner
has to do the dishes.'

No problem,' he says. And in they go. Mick is shocked. Right smack in
the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the
kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in
the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As
dinner progresses, Mick decides to take advantage of the situation. So
he leans over and kisses Michelle. No one says a word. So he reaches
over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands
up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and
screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no-one says a word. He
looks at her mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the
mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every
which way, right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is
furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a
sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Mick
remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, 'All right,
that's enough, I'll do the (BEEPING) dishes!'

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