around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your Birth
certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again, or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS...
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here