Notes from the Edge of Life:

(Received from Roger E, a pilot friend of mine).

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
--------------------
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
--------------------
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
--------------------
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
--------------------
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
--------------------
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
--------------------
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
--------------------
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
--------------------
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
--------------------
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
--------------------
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,
United States
--------------------
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
--------------------
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
--------------------
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
--------------------
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
--------------------
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
--------------------
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
--------------------
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece
of shut. Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
--------------------
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
--------------------
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant