Old Fashioned Uses Of Modern Technology

I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,'  he said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, Dad, you can borrow my brand new Apple iPad 3!'

I can tell you, that poor fly on the dining table never knew what hit it…

 

Two Large Women in A Bar…

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar.

They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them chirped saying, "It's Wales, you idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's pretty much the last thing I remember... and I understand there are no visitors allowed in the Intensive Care unit!