Sunday, October 27, 2013

Department of Unintentional Puns: (Set) Fire (To) The Editors?!

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far! 
 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! 
 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 
 
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
 
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
  
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?! 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought! 
 
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
  
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 
 
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge! 
 
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?! 
 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans! 
 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken? 
 
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 
 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
 
And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
 

1 comment:

ViolaFury said...

This kind of stuff always cracks me up. My mother worked for a newspaper in Chicago, briefly, before she met and married my father, and I worked as a proofreader from home when I could no longer drive.

My mom was in the editorial department, but I remember her telling me, with great glee, about the day the advert department let this one get printed: "SEARS T-SHITS ON SALE" I must have been about 6 or 7, and in Scotland, if the kids aren't saying the S-word by 9 or 10, the parents feel they've failed.

Anyway, one of my favorites, was a headline in one of the Sports sections: "Time for Football and Meatball Stew" I've always wondered how tough those footballs were?