Bear Removal Strategy But Safety First

A homeowner in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on her roof. She looks in the yellow pages and finds an ad for "Albertan Bear Remover."

So she calls the number and a man says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got with him a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun and a mean looking pit bull terrier.

"How does this work? What are you going to do with all those?" the homeowner asks.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof. Then I'm going to go up and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat, and when the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to seize it by the testicles and not let go. The bear will gradually become subdued enough for me to lock him up in the cage in the back of the van."

Then he hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"That's for you. If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."