An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected. 
   
I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate. 
  
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. 
  
I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops. 
   
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. 
   
My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it. 
   
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion. 
   
I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.
 
 
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