Pride & PreJudicial

Two elderly friends, Bill and Sam, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever
got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! -- there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty' and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

Going Once, Or Twice?

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice." The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either." The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one draft, throws the glass into the air, whips out her .45, and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

How Do You Know You're Over 50?

Most of our 50+ years old friends can relate to these...for the younger ones this is what you have to look forward to.

1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you ?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10 You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenges.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

and

20. Thank God, browsers allow you to increase FONT sizes to read this whole list.

68 and pregnant?

A woman went to the medical office, where she was seen by a young,
new doctor.

After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her
she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor
screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After
listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another
room. Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's
room.

"What's the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68
years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and
you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without
looking up said:

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

The Ultimate Retribution

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music,
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned
with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in
to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool
carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the
house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Shocked To Death

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and
tapped him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove
up over the curb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the
cab. Then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared
the daylights out of me".

The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he
didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. I'm
new to this. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a
hearse for the past 23 years."

Sensitive Rednecks

Three Rednecks were working on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and
K.C. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower
and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone
should go and tell his wife."

KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Pete
says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?"

"Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she
gave you beer?"

Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to
her, You must be Cooter's widow'."

She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow."... then I said
"I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are!"

Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.

We're Doing Nothing, Just Killing Time!

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a
couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop
carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a
young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He
immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and
gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?" The cop says:
"What are you doing?" The young man says: "Well Officer, I'm reading
a magazine."

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And
her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's
knitting a pullover sweater." Now, the cop is totally confused. A
young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's lane...and
nothing obscene is happening!

The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?" The young man says "I'm
22, sir." The cop asks: "And her...what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11
minutes."

Post Nuptial Ooooops! Till Death Do Us Apart

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife
looks over at him and asks a question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (With a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "Oh Shit!"

Shake Off The Doldrums In Old Age Home

(This is a naughty joke - mature audiences only)

Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after
dinner Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and
ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat, with lull in their conversation Harold turns to Mildred and
says .......

"Do You know what I miss most of all?"

"What?" She asks.

"SEX!" he replies.

"Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," says Harold , "but it would be nice if a woman could just
hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes
his manhood and proceeds to hold it tenderly. Afterward, they agree
to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and
talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She
walked around the senior citizen home where she finally found him
sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was
holding Harold's Manhood.

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have
That I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled sheepishly and replied ....... "Parkinson's"

Greatest Confessions

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
"I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again For your penance, say five Hail
Mary's. And put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked
over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw
that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
_________________________________________________

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon
entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate
love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a
glass and drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
_________________________________________________

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife
was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're
beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side.

A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now
"cute." She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
__________________________________________________

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest
and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for
the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for
an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane,
and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something
for the creature." Muldoon said.

"I'll go right away Father. Do ya 'think $5,000 is enough to donate
to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya
tell me the dog was Catholic?"
__________________________________________________

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation
ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many
children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked
up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had
sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody."
__________________________________________________

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-
control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover, "into the closet!" and she
pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the
bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the
Man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, .. "Those little bastards....."
__________________________________________________

Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you, Snore, and you sleep alone.

Hollywood Squares Repartee

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are
now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you' ll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q.When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting
into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Bubba and the Psychiatrist

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go to
bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going
crazy."

"Put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk
to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those
fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the psychiatrist.

"I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later the psychiatrist met Bubba on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were
having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful
lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have
saved all that money I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now."

Man Of The House Laying Down The Law

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be
the Man of Your House when he stormed into the kitchen and walked
directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, you
need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law! You
will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating
my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner you
are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex
that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can
relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done,
guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The Funeral Director would be my guess."

Indian Winter - Predicting The Weather

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their
new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught
the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the
winter was going to be like.

So, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was
indeed going to be cold and the villagers should collect firewood to
be prepared.

Then, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth,
called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter
going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even
more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the
Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a
very cold winter?

"Yes," the man at Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a
very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief
called the Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the
winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like
crazy."

The Mortician & A Befitting Funeral

A man who just died is delivered to a College Station mortuary
wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body
dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit
he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked
his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives
the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs,
but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she
finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk
stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check.
"There's no charge," he says.

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite
blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a
deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in
shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive
blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave
wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as
long as he looked nice."

"So I just switched the heads."

The Jewels And The Portrait

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a very famous
artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with my 3-carat diamond
earrings, a large Diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and
a beautiful red ruby Pendant."

"But, ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is failing and my husband is
having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will
marry her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

No In Home Service

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus: "Please send me a brother", the
little boy requested very earnestly.

Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother..."

The Lay Of The Land In Women's Golf

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning
round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of
the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't
quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the
remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table.

Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in
college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next
week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one
of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally,
one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty
early, at 6:30 am.

He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately. The
woman said this might be a problem, and asked if she could possibly
be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said this would
be okay.

She smiled, and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or
6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up beating all three of
them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and
pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in
the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the
next week.

She smiled, and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45." The next
week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time,
she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she
still managed to beat them with an even par round, despite playing
with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered
if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-
handed.

They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't
seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning
desire to beat her!

In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she
was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was
determined to play the best round of golf of his life, to beat her.

As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty
gamesmanship on her part. Finally, she showed up.

This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing
since she narrowly beat all three of them.

However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong
play; it was hard to hold a grudge against her. This woman was a
riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at
her ability. They had a couple of beers after their round which
helped the conversation loosen up. Finally, one of the men could
contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do
you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed, and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my Dad
taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always
had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in
college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude.

From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the
morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his
You-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it
was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.

All the guys on the team thought this was hysterical ." Astonished at
This bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it
pointed straight up in the air?"

She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."

Calories Burned During Sex

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection...........................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................12 Calories
69 lying down...............................78 Calories
69 standing up..............................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow................................216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier..........................2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake..........................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calori es
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories *****
70 and over........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly..........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary.

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD...Right now, as you read this,
60 Million Americans are having SEX! And you're on the computer!!!