Swearing Nun

A nun went to her Mother Superior and confessed; "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive! It looked like it was going to sail over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway. The ball then fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?" asked Mother Superior.

"No, Mother Superior," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth, and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.

"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, Mother. Oh no, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

" Well, did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, impatiently.

"Oh no, Mother Superior... My ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about SIX inches from the hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment.

Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you, you dumb ass?"