Monday, August 18, 2008

Idle Thoughts

Got these from a friend in email. Sound like George Carlin sayings but
not sure who the source is. Enjoy.

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed

I had amnesia once -- or twice. I forget which!

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread ? Hmmmm?

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you
a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

If you don't do anything, how do you know when you are finished?

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