Birds of a feather flock together . . .and then crap on your car.
_________________________
A penny saved is a government oversight.
_________________________
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
_________________________
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
_________________________
He who hesitates is probably right.
__________________________
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
_________________________________________
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
__________________________
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
__________________________
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'
____________________________
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
____________________________
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
_____________________________
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
_____________________________
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
_____________________________
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
______________________________
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ... AMEN!
______________________________
_________________________
A penny saved is a government oversight.
_________________________
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
_________________________
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
_________________________
He who hesitates is probably right.
__________________________
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
_________________________________________
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
__________________________
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
__________________________
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'
____________________________
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
____________________________
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
_____________________________
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
_____________________________
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
_____________________________
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
______________________________
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ... AMEN!
______________________________
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