Evolution of New Year's Resolutions

RESOLUTION #1:

1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2001: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2003: I will read 5 books a year.
2004: I will finish The Pelican Brief
2005: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2006: I will read at least one article this year.
2007: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

RESOLUTION #2:

1999: I will get my weight down below 180.
2001: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2003: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2004: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2005: I will work out 5 days a week.
2006: I will work out 3 days a week.
2007: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

RESOLUTION #3:

1999: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2001: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2003: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2004: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2005.
2005: I will be totally out of debt by 2007.
2006: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2009.
2007: I will try to be out of the country by 2008.

RESOLUTION #4:

2004: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2005: I will not leave Marge.
2006: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge.
2007: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

RESOLUTION #5:

2004: I will stop looking at other women.
2005: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2006: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
2007: I will not stop looking at other women.

RESOLUTION #6:

2004: I will not let my boss push me around.
2005: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of
suicide.
2006: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2007: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

RESOLUTION #7:

2004: I will not get upset when Charlie makes jokes about my
baldness.
2005: I will not get annoyed when Charlie kids me about my toupee.
2006: I will not get angry when Charle tells the guys I wear a
girdle.
2007: I will not speak to Charlie.

RESOLUTION #8:

2004: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2005: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2006: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2007: I will not miss any AA meetings.

RESOLUTION #9:

2004: I will see my dentist this year.
2005: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2006: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2007: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

RESOLUTION #10:

2004: I will go to church every Sunday.
2005: I will go to church as often as possible.
2006: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2007: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.