Wednesday, January 23, 2008

If You Have An MBA, Do You Do This?

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's 'core competencies'
2. You decide to "re-org" your family into a "team-based
3. You refer to dating as test marketing.
4. You can spell "paradigm."
5. You actually know what a paradigm is.
6. You understand your airline's fare structure.
7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.
8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.
9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page
presentation with six other people you don't know.
10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a
performance review.
11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just
"issues and improvement opportunities".
12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of
yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt".
14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-
15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-
engineering", "down-sizing", and "right-sizing".
16. You actually believe your explanation in number 15.
17. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives
18. You refer to your previous life as "my sunk cost."
19. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO."
20. You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey.
21. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
22. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to
23. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead
of an expense.
24. You insist that you do some more market research -- before you
do your spouse produces another child.
25. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency
meeting about their brand equity.
26. Your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid
27. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
28. You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and
Internet connection.
29. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
30. You try to prioritize this list based on cost-benefit analysis
before you email it out.

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